Forgive One Another

Our readings today come from Colossians chapter 3 verses 12 to 15 and 2 Corinthians chapter 13 verse 11. So starting with Colossians chapter 3 verse 12. Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another. And if one has a complaint against one another, forgiving each other.

As the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. And above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body, and be thankful. And 2 Corinthians chapter 13 verse 11. Finally, brothers, rejoice.

Aim for restoration. Comfort one another. Agree with one another. Live in peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you. Last time I was here, I preached a sermon from our one another series.

That series is all about what it looks like to live in this new community that God is building called the church. It looks like being kind to one another and welcoming one another and even singing to one another. And if you wanna hear those sermons, you'll have to talk to Jacob because he preached those ones in this series. Last time I was here, I preached on encouraging one another.

But this morning, we're going to look at forgiving one another. The truth is, as broken and sinful and selfish people, living in harmony with one another isn't easy. It's not easy to live with people who are different than you. The truth is that there are no perfect churches because there are no perfect people. If you're looking for a church where there is never any relational tension, you won't find one.

Instead of looking for a church where everyone is perfect, we need to look for a church where people are willing to forgive each other. This morning, we're gonna look at three levels of forgiveness. The first is bearing with one another. The second is showing grace to one another, and the third is restoring one another. And these principles aren't just important for doing church together, but for any relationships that we have, whether at work or at school or in our homes.

So let's start with bearing with one another. That's what in Colossians 3:13, Paul says we should be doing as followers of Jesus. We should be bearing with one another. So firstly, what is bearing with one another? My kids have to bear my dad jokes.

They don't do a very good job of it. There's a lot of eye rolling and groaning and shaking of heads. Is that what it means to bear with each other? Well, the New Testament talks about bearing with one another in multiple ways. Firstly, to bear with one another means to overlook people's faults.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13, love bears all things. That word doesn't mean love endures all things because that's what it goes on and says later in the verse. Rather, it means love overlooks all things. I love the view from our upstairs windows. We can see right across the valley to the wooded hills on the other side.

It's a beautiful view as long as I don't look down at all the houses on the other side of our street. If I overlook them, it looks great. We bear with the faults of others because we choose to overlook them. Secondly, to bear with one another means we carry people's spiritual failings. Paul says in Galatians 6, bear one another's burdens.

And the burden there is any transgression. The idea is that we support those who are struggling with sin. We're to support them to turn away from their sin. Isaiah says about Jesus, surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. That's what love does.

It carries people in their spiritual failings. That's what God has done for us in Jesus, and that's what we're to do for others. Thirdly, to bear with one another means to be patient with people's weaknesses. Again, Paul writes, we who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak. Weakness here isn't people's sins, rather it's people who haven't really grasped the full implications of the gospel.

They're worried about what they eat or what they drink or which days to observe. When the gospel is that those things can't save us, only Jesus can. Instead of looking down on such people, we're to be patient with them. And finally, to bear with one another doesn't just mean that we tolerate people, but that we actively accept people, idiosyncrasies and all. To bear with one another can sound like we just have to put up with people, even when they're really annoying and unpleasant.

But that's not what God does for us. He doesn't just tolerate us. He doesn't just put up with us. He doesn't bear with us. Rather, He accepts us in Christ.

He welcomes us with open arms, and He can do that because He's placed all of our faults and weaknesses and spiritual failings on His Son Jesus, who dealt with them all on the cross. God can overlook our faults because He looks at Jesus. God can carry sinners because Jesus carried our sin on the cross. God can be patient with our weaknesses because in Christ, He hasn't finished with us yet. God can accept us with all our idiosyncrasies because in Christ, He loves us as His own children.

So to bear with one another doesn't mean we just put up with one another, but that we accept one another as works in progress, that we carry each other through the struggles of life, that we're patient with each other, that we overlook one another's faults. So why should we bear with one another? I think I've already touched on it, but I wanna be explicit. We bear with one another because God has borne with us in Christ. That's how Paul starts verse 12.

He says, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved. God chooses people or welcomes them into His family and adopts them as His children, not because they are such great people that He couldn't bear eternity without us, but because He loves us. God's choosing people is entirely unconditional. What that means is that God chooses people not because they deserve it, but because of His undeserved grace. God's chosen people are holy, not in the sense that they're without faults or failures or weakness or sin, but because God set them apart for a relationship with Himself through faith in Jesus Christ.

God's chosen people are beloved, not because they are so lovable, but because His love in Christ is so great, it overlooks their sin and accepts them warts and all. And if that's how God bears with us, that's how we ought to bear with one another. We bear with one another because we're God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, and so are they. So how do we bear with one another? How do we overlook people's faults and carry their failings and be patient with their weaknesses and accept their idiosyncrasies?

Because that sounds like a big ask. Well, Paul tells us in verse 12, he says, put on then compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. The only way you and I can bear with one another is if our hearts more and more reflect the heart of God. So let me share some verses that reveal God's heart for sinners. Matthew writes, when Jesus saw the crowds, He had compassion for them because they were harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd.

Personally, I think sheep are dumb. But when Jesus sees people harassed and helpless, He doesn't think they're dumb. He has compassion for them. God's heart is filled with compassion for broken people, people that are wandering, people that are lost. Next, Jesus says, but love your enemies and do good, and you'll be sons of the Most High, for He is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.

When people are unkind or ungrateful and evil, it doesn't make me want to show them any kindness. But God's heart is filled with kindness even for ungrateful and evil people. Next, Jesus says, come to me all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest for I am gentle and lowly in heart. See, pride looks down on those who struggle, on those who are weak, on those who fail, but humility bends down to help. God is willing to humble Himself to help broken people.

Next, Matthew quotes Isaiah, what Isaiah writes about Jesus, a bruised reed He will not break, and a smouldering wick He will not quench. The picture there is of someone who is gentle with those who are broken. We're like broken reeds, and yet Jesus can hold us in His hands, and we are safe there. You and I are patient with the failings and the faults of others only to the extent that we appreciate God's patience with us. Paul says, do you presume on the riches of God's kindness and forbearance and patience?

God has been so kind and so patient and so forbearing with us, surely we can do the same for others. In fact, in Colossians 3:14, Paul says, and above all of these, put on love. When we love our brothers and sisters in Christ, even a fraction of how much God loves them, we will be able to overlook their faults, carry their failings, be patient with their weaknesses, and accept their idiosyncrasies. Love bears all things. So what is the goal of bearing with one another?

The goal is that we would be a community defined by harmony, peace, and unity. Our text says, and above all these, put on love which binds everything together in perfect harmony, and let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts to which indeed you are called in one body. In the parallel passage from Ephesians 4, Paul says, walk with all humility and gentleness with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace. The goal is that we might be bound together in perfect harmony, that we might live in peace with one another, that we might be one body, that we might maintain the unity of the spirit. Do you bear with other people, or do you just find certain people unbearable?

Are you willing to overlook people's faults? Because in Jesus, God has overlooked your faults. Are you willing to carry other people in their failings just like God has carried you in Jesus? Are you patient with the weaknesses of others just as God is patient with you? Will you accept people warts and all just as God has accepted you in Christ?

Will you bear with others? Now all that's fine if other people are just a bit weird or different from you, but what if they actually hurt you? What if it gets personal? If the first level of forgiveness is bearing with one another's faults and failings and weaknesses and idiosyncrasies, the next level of forgiveness is showing grace to one another. Paul says in our text, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

So let's start by looking at what we need to forgive. The phrase Paul uses is if one has a complaint against another. You make a complaint when someone has wronged you in some specific way. You'd have a complaint if someone gossiped about you. You'd have a complaint if someone stole $20 out of your purse or your wallet.

You'd have a complaint if someone spoke to you disrespectfully, and someone would have a complaint against you if you did any of those things to them. If someone has a complaint, Paul says, you have to forgive them. Now Jesus has a lot to say about forgiveness. Firstly, He says, we have to forgive others, not just once or twice, but over and over again. Peter asked Jesus how often he should forgive someone, maybe up to seven times, and Jesus replies, I do not say to you seven times, but 77 times.

Now Jesus isn't suggesting that once you've forgiven someone 77 times, that's it. Rather, He's saying, you just gotta keep forgiving them. If they keep repenting, you keep forgiving. And Jesus goes on and tells a parable about a servant who refuses to forgive someone, and that servant is thrown into prison. And Jesus says, so also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from the heart.

The point I wanna make is that forgiveness comes from your heart. It's not just something you do, it's something you do because you wanna honour God, and because you love people, even those against whom you have a complaint. Forgiveness comes from our hearts. Next, forgiveness comes through Jesus. Jesus says during the last supper, this is my blood of the covenant which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.

Jesus died on the cross for the forgiveness of sins. People's sins, your sins, other people's sins are only forgiven through faith in Jesus's death. Finally, forgiveness reflects God's work in our hearts. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says, if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. An unforgiving attitude reflects someone who has not experienced the forgiveness of God.

If God has forgiven your sins, you will forgive those who have sinned against you. I'm not suggesting that's easy, rather I'm suggesting that's just what forgiven people do. As God's people, we are called to forgive one another. Who do you need to forgive? Who has wronged you?

Who do you have a complaint against that you need to forgive in your heart? But what does it mean to forgive one another? Because this isn't the usual word for forgiveness in our passage. The usual word in the New Testament is aphiemi, which means to no longer feel angry about what someone has done or wish to punish them for that thing. Paul uses that word earlier in Colossians.

He says in chapter one, God has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. That's aphiemi. God has forgiven us. He's no longer angry at us. He will no longer punish us for our sins.

He's set us free. But the word in Colossians 3 is charizomai, which literally means to show grace. Jesus uses this word in Luke 7. He tells a parable about two people who owed a money lender different debts. 50 denarii or a few months wages, and another 500 denarii or a few years wages.

Jesus says, when they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. The guy cancelled or forgave their debts. Showing grace focuses on the undeserved nature of forgiveness. This is how God forgave us. We didn't deserve it.

It was all grace. Paul says in chapter two of Colossians, and you who were dead in your trespasses, God made alive together with Christ, having forgiven us all our trespasses by cancelling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This He set aside, nailing it to the cross. You didn't deserve to be forgiven, and yet God in His grace cancelled the debt of your sin by nailing it to the cross. To forgive doesn't just mean to cancel someone's debt against you, but to do so even when it's not deserved.

You don't cancel someone's debt because they're really nice people. Rather, you cancel their debt even when they're not a nice person. We forgive one another because we wanna show the same grace that God showed us in Christ. And that brings us to the point of this section. Why would we ever forgive someone who has wronged us?

Someone against whom we have a legitimate complaint. And the answer is because in Christ, God forgave us. That's what verse 13 says, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. We forgive those who wrong us because God forgave us for wronging Him. God has freely and extravagantly forgiven us, and we therefore freely and extravagantly forgive others.

It's not that you need to forgive others, rather you need to show people the same grace that you have freely received. How are you showing grace to other people? So if level one forgiveness is bearing with the faults of others, and level two forgiveness is showing grace to those who have wronged you, level three forgiveness is restoring one another. The truth is you can forgive someone and they can keep hating your guts. We can't change people.

But while we can't change people, Paul says we should aim for restoration. This last point comes from the end of Paul's second letter to the church in Corinth, and Corinth was one messed up church with all sorts of tensions and problems. In 2 Corinthians 13:11, Paul says, finally, brothers, aim for restoration. Comfort one another. Agree with one another.

Live in peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you. So firstly, what is restoration? This word is sometimes translated as to make complete or make perfect, but it's not the usual word for perfection or completion. Rather, it means repairing what was damaged or broken. When Jesus first meets James and John, He finds them mending their nets.

It's the same word that Paul uses here in 2 Corinthians 13. In the course of fishing, nets get damaged, and they need to be repaired. They need to be restored. And that's true in community as well. Whether at work or at school or family or church, in the course of life, relationships get damaged, and they need to be repaired.

They need to be restored. In the Bible, it's called reconciliation. Jesus says, so if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there at the altar, and go first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. We tend to think that if someone has something against us, it's them who should come to us. But Jesus says, we should take responsibility to heal broken relationships, whether it's our fault or not.

In fact, that's what God did for you and me. The apostle John writes, this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. God took the initiative to reconcile our broken relationship with Himself. It's not enough to just bear with one another or to forgive one another. Rather, we ought to aim to mend broken relationships, to be restored or reconciled to one another.

But what does that look like? Well, Paul gives us three ways you can see restoration in action. Firstly, we'll be comforting one another. The word comfort means to come alongside someone. It's often translated as encourage.

But I like the word comfort because when you fall out with other people, it brings pain and hurt. And what people need is comfort. They need you to have a tender and compassionate heart. When you comfort someone through a broken relationship, you encourage them to work towards restoration. Secondly, Paul says we're to agree with one another.

The word literally means to think the same. If you are going to understand one another, it's gonna take a lot of listening and asking questions. It will take time. It may require other people to help you reach consensus. But restoration happens when you have both been heard and understood, and you agree about what happened and why.

Agreeing with one another means you can't just kick it under the carpet and forget about it. Agreeing with one another means communicating together. Thirdly, Paul says we're to live in peace with one another. We often think of peace as the absence of conflict, but the biblical idea of peace is proactively working to improve the lives of other people. Jesus says, blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God.

Paul says, let us pursue what makes for peace. The letter to the Hebrews calls us to strive for peace with everyone. Restoration means working hard to create peace. This is the sort of thing Jesus was talking about when He said, turn the other cheek and go the extra mile. Living in peace means doing whatever it takes to restore broken relationships.

So what is the result of restoration? Well, Paul doesn't say that all your relationships will be restored. Sometimes people will reject your every attempt at offering comfort, or to talk through disagreements, or to pursue peace. God never promises that everyone will repent, or that every broken relationship will be healed. In fact, the Bible gives allowances for that reality.

It's called disunity and divorce, and it breaks God's heart. But what Paul does promise if we aim for restoration is that the God of love and peace will be with you. God is with those who pursue His will, who reflect His character, who try to give what they've freely received in Christ. You might never get any closer to those with whom you've fallen out with, but if that's what you pursue, you will find God is closer than you think. Brothers and sisters, there is no such thing as a perfect church or a perfect family or a perfect friend.

And if we're gonna maintain relationships with people, we're gonna have to learn to live out this stuff. We're gonna have to learn how to bear with one another. We're gonna have to learn to overlook people's faults and carry their failings and be patient with their weaknesses and to accept their idiosyncrasies. We're gonna have to learn how to show them the same grace that we have received through Jesus. When we have a complaint against someone, we're gonna have to learn how to forgive them, like we've been forgiven in Christ.

And we're gonna have to learn how to aim for restoration. We're going to need to comfort one another and agree with one another and live in peace with one another. None of that means life on this side of glory will be smooth and trouble free, but God has promised that as we pursue these things, He will be with us. So I wanna encourage you this morning, bear with one another, show grace to one another, and aim for restoration. Let's pray.

Dear heavenly Father, we come before Your throne of mercy and grace because that's exactly what You have shown each one of us. You have shown us mercy. You've shown us undeserved grace. Lord, You forgave us even when we were Your enemies. Lord, You rescued us even though we were happy walking our own way.

Lord, You forgave us all of our faults. Lord Jesus, Your Son carried them on the cross, and He paid the price for them. Lord, You accept us with open arms because of what Jesus Christ has done for us. And Lord, we pray that we can do the same for others. That by the power of Your Spirit working in our hearts, we would bear with the faults of others, that we would overlook those faults.

That Lord, we would accept other people, warts and all, just like You have accepted us. Lord, we pray that like we have been forgiven in Christ, we would forgive others, that we would show them the same grace that we have freely received. Lord, we pray that each one of us would aim for restoration with those who we've fallen out with. Because Lord, that's what You've done for us. You've restored us with Yourself.

And Lord, we don't know if our efforts will make any difference, but Lord, that's what You've called us to do. So as each one of us sits here today, if You've put a name or a face or a situation into our hearts that You want us to address, we pray that we would leave here with a commitment to do that. Help us to bear with one another. Lord, help us to forgive one another and help us to aim for restoration with each other. Lord, we pray this in the name of Jesus and for His glory and honour. Amen.