A Song for When You Doubt God

Even though I have been here once before, you and I don't know each other very well. You know, we're not on great speaking terms, but I'm guessing that there's something about you that I know. I'm guessing there's something about every one of us in this room that I know. And maybe you've never told anyone this before. Maybe you're going through it right now.

Maybe you're starting to feel a little bit nervous. I'm guessing that if you're a believer in here, that at some point in your life, you have wrestled with doubts about your faith. I'm guessing that at some point in your life, you've gone through something, you've experienced something that has made you question, Does God really love me? Why would God let this happen? Is God even there?

I'm guessing you've been at some point in your life where you have wrestled with questions like these. You see, I think all of us wrestle with the issue of doubt. All of us face doubt at some point in our life. You know, I read an article late last year, and the headline of this article, it said, Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, questions the existence of God. Now, if you don't know, the Archbishop of Canterbury is the highest ranked position in the Church of England.

And so this is a supposedly scandalous headline. And the article it says, asked whether despite his high profile as a religious leader, he ever struggles with doubt, he, Archbishop Welby said, yes, I do. I mean, there are moments, sure, where you think, is there a God? Where is God? Many of you would know Mother Teresa.

She's well known for her work with the poor and the sick in Calcutta. But what you may not know is there was a book released after her death of letters that she had written during her lifetime. And these letters spoke about her deep doubts. They spoke about loneliness, about not hearing from God, about personal hypocrisy, and doubts about her own faith. Even C.S. Lewis wrestled with the issue of doubt.

He wrote in a letter to a friend. He said, I think the trouble with me is lack of faith. I have no rational ground for going back on the arguments that convinced me of God's existence. But the irrational dead weight of my old sceptical habits and the spirit of this age and the cares of the day steal away all my lively feeling of the truth. And often when I pray, I wonder if I'm not posting letters to a nonexistent address.

Mind you, I don't think so. The whole of my reasonable mind is convinced, but I often feel so. And I think if we were to be honest with one another this morning, we would have to admit that there are times when we have felt like that. And that's why I think we resonate with the words of the man in Mark 9 when he was speaking to Jesus and he said, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.

See, I think these words perfectly capture the experience of so many Christians. In Jesus, we have discovered true life, joy, peace, yet at times we still wrestle with deep doubts. But you see, many of us, we feel like we cannot share these doubts. Even maybe now you're feeling a little uncomfortable that I'm talking about this. We feel like to express doubt is maybe to insult God.

Maybe it's a sign of spiritual weakness or spiritual immaturity. And so often we're afraid to admit our doubts or we suppress them. You know, one of the great things about the Bible? The Bible is not afraid of doubt. The Bible does not condemn doubt.

The Bible condemns unbelief, which is a refusal to believe, but the Bible does not condemn doubt, which is a wrestling with belief. In fact, many of you would have heard of Philip Yancey, the well-known Christian author. When he speaks to college students, he gives them a challenge. He says, you find one single argument that is promoted by the prominent atheists of our day. You find one single argument that they promote that is not already explored or included in the Bible.

Whether it's the question of injustice or suffering or whatever it is, these issues are explored and wrestled with in God's word. And so this morning, I just want to briefly explore this issue of doubt. And to do that, I want to look at Psalm 73. So if you have your Bibles, can you flick to Psalm 73. We'll be pretty much camped there most of this morning.

You know, Psalm 73 was written by a man named Asaph. And Asaph, we're told in 1 Chronicles, was a worship leader in the temple. So he's kind of a big deal, you know. He's up there. And Psalm 73 is a reflection of his experience with doubt.

And so you see, Psalm 73 is gonna help us navigate when we go through these seasons of doubt. You see, the important thing about doubt, as I've tried to make clear, it's not the fact that we doubt, but it's what we do with our doubt. You see, doubt is kind of like a spinning coin. It's in a state of uncertainty. It's in a state of flux, but it is going to fall down one way or the other.

It's gonna come down heads or tails, belief or unbelief. So the important thing about our doubt is not that we doubt, but it's that we resolve our doubt. And what we're gonna see with Asaph is that his doubt did not lead him to fall over, but it actually propelled him to a greater height of spiritual maturity. So let's have a look at Psalm 73 and Asaph's experience and see what we can learn from it. And the first thing we see is a definition of doubt.

The first three verses. Truly God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled. My steps had nearly slipped. For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

So what is Asaph's problem? Asaph's problem is that his theological beliefs did not line up with reality. He believed this about God, but when he looked at the world around him, he saw the opposite happening. So look at verse one. It states what Asaph believed.

God is good to the pure in heart. In other words, God is a good God. He cares for those who care about him. Now the pure in heart does not mean sinless. It means those who love God, those who are committed to God.

And God cares for them. This is true. This is good theology. But then in verse three, we read about the contradiction. We read about the problem.

And the problem is for Asaph, the wicked live prosperous lives. If God is good to those who love him, Asaph's wondering, then why are those who hate him prospering? Why are they living lives of ease? And so for Asaph, his doubts were driven by the fact that life was not following the script that he expected it to follow. What he believed to be true was not lining up with what he experienced.

And he gives this great description of doubt in verse two. He gives the image of slipping or losing your footing, and this is a great metaphor for doubt. You know, last year, Molly and I went on a holiday to Tasmania. It was beautiful. I love Tasmania.

Great place for a holiday. And we went to this small seaside town called Bicheno. Many of you, maybe you've been there before, but at Bicheno, when you go out on the beach, there's rocks, you know, all over the beach and you can walk along the rocks while you're looking at the ocean. And we were out there enjoying ourselves and then this group of tourists came out onto the rocks and they were sort of near us and they were walking around. They thought it would be a good idea to go really close, you know, the rocks and so they went quite far out.

This one girl in particular was walking sort of quite close to the edge. Now, you could clearly see, you know, if you've been in Australia and around beaches for long enough, that there's a lot of algae on those rocks. And so she went walking and she slipped and she fell over. And she didn't go over the edge. She was far enough away from the edge, but she completely lost her footing and fell over.

And she didn't hurt herself, so it was kind of funny. But this is a great image of doubt. You know, when you're walking along and you lose your footing, you lose your certainty, you lose your surety. And Asaph is saying this is what happened to him. He lost his certainty in God and he almost slipped over.

Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt like Asaph? Have you ever thought that maybe something in my life should or would work out in a certain way and it didn't? And it sent you for a spin. Maybe you thought you'd be married for the rest of your life.

Maybe you thought you'd be married, full stop. Maybe you thought you'd be healthy. Your children would be healthy. You would have children. You would graduate from uni.

You would get a bigger house. Whatever it is, has something caused you to doubt the goodness of God? Has life not followed the script that you're expecting, and has it sent you for a spin? What did you do in that moment? What did you do when those doubts came?

In verses 4 to 12, we see what Asaph did. We see how Asaph responds, and he responds with a bit of a vent. I mean, you know, whatever it is, seven verses, he just vents. And I like verses 4 to 12 because they're honest. They're authentic.

They are where we can all be at times in our faith. But often, like Asaph, or often when we vent, you know, Asaph as well, he gets a bit melodramatic. You know, those times when you vent, he's the worst husband in the world. He never does what I want him to do. Or, you know, we get a bit melodramatic and we exaggerate.

This is what Asaph does in these verses. He loses his perspective. Have a look. To those who are prospering, he says, for they have no pains until death. Their bodies are fat and sleek.

They are not in trouble as others are. They are not stricken like the rest of mankind. He's saying they're not bothered by normal human problems. They never go hungry. They live sheltered lives.

Therefore, pride is their necklace. Violence covers them as a garment. Their eyes swell out through fatness. Their hearts overflow with follies. They scoff and speak with malice.

Loftily, they threaten oppression. They set their mouths against the heavens and their tongue struts through the earth. Therefore, his people turn back to them and find no fault in them. And they say, how can God know? Is there knowledge in the most high?

For these people, as if he's saying, God's not to be feared. He's distant. He doesn't know. He's not involved. They don't need God.

They can take care of themselves. And then verse 12. Behold, these are the wicked. Always at ease, they increase in riches. Asaph looks at the world and he sees the good lives of those who hate God.

And he says to himself, how in the world can God be good? And he doubts. And in fact, he even thinks to himself, maybe this whole life of following God is not worth it. Maybe it's not worth it. Look what he says in verses 13 to 14.

All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence. For all the day long, I have been stricken and rebuked every morning. Asaph is saying here, obeying God, doing the right thing, maybe it's been a waste of time. Maybe I should have just jumped in with those who despised God. Nothing bad seems to be happening to them.

Have you been there where you felt like your faith in God was not worth it? That's a difficult and a dark place to be. And Asaph was there in that dark shadowy place of doubt where he could not see God clearly. So how does he find his way out? How does this fog begin to clear in Asaph's life?

We see the turn in verses 15 to 17. You see the turn from doubt to trust. Look what he says. This is Asaph. If I had said, I will speak thus, I would have betrayed the generation of your children.

But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task until I went into the sanctuary of God. Then I discerned the end. Did you notice the turn? Asaph was wearisome and oppressed until he did something.

Until he went to the sanctuary of God. Now what is the sanctuary of God? Now when you hear the word sanctuary, don't think of a big cathedral where it would have been nice and quiet and Asaph went in to think. No, no, no. In this context, the sanctuary of God was the temple.

Asaph went to a worship service. He sang the word of God. He heard the word of God preached. He prayed with other believers. He spent time with other believers.

And in that space, in the community of God, in the people of God, the fog began to clear. Asaph began to regain his perspective. And he began to regain his perspective because in that space, Asaph realised he was not alone. There were others who had gone through the same thing that he had. There were others he could rely on.

There were others who had gone through what he was going through and had come out the other side. You see, friends, we all experience doubt at times, and the crucial thing that we need to realise is we're not alone. There's people around us who we can rely on. Doubt is meant to be faced together. Doubt is meant to be talked about and prayed about and not judged as a sign of weakness or immaturity.

Jude 1:22, have mercy on those who doubt. We are meant to support one another. We need people to speak truth into our lives. We need people to remind us of God's perspective. This is why one of the worst things we can do when we go through a season like this is pull back from Christian community.

But what's the one thing we feel like doing when we go through these difficult seasons? Pulling back from Christian community. When you go through a season like this, you don't feel like reading your Bible. You don't feel like praying. You don't feel like going to church.

But it's the one thing that you should keep doing. Keep pressing in. Because you need people around you to remind you of what is true and right. So Hebrews 3:12 says, take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day as long as it is called today, that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Now to exhort one another, you need to be in community with one another. So let me ask you, are you committed to the people of God? Are there people in your life who can exhort you, who can encourage you, who can question you, who can pray with you? Friends, the local church is the gift of God to guide us safely home. And it's only in the context of community that our doubts can begin to be transformed into trust.

And this is what happened for Asaph. And look at the result of Asaph's transformed doubt. Look at verses 18 to 22. Truly, you set them in slippery places. You make them fall to ruin.

How they are destroyed in a moment, swept away utterly by terrors. Like a dream when one awakes, oh Lord, when you rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms. When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant. I was like a beast towards you. Asaph's doubts were transformed when he reflected on God's truth.

The fog clears and he begins to see God's perspective. And what Asaph sees is that though he almost slipped in his doubts, remember verse two? He was the one that felt like he was gonna slip. It is actually those who reject God who are in slippery places. Look at verse 18.

Truly you set them in slippery places. You make them fall to ruin. It's worse than just slipping. It is falling to ruin. For these people who have no problems, who live lives of ease, Asaph is saying.

To be there, to oppose God, to hate God is to ultimately come to ruin. And it doesn't matter what your life looks like right now. And Asaph has his perspective renewed and he says, I was like a brute beast towards God. I was like an animal towards Him. I was angry with God.

I was disappointed with God, so I lashed out at Him because I didn't see from God's perspective. You know, Tim Keller, many of you would be aware with, I'm sure, is a pastor in New York. He tells a story about a little kitten that falls into this very cold stream. And this kitten would have drowned if it was washed away, but this little boy dives into the cold stream after this kitten to rescue it, and he grabs this kitten. But this kitten is scared.

It doesn't know what is going on. So it begins to lash out at the young boy, scratching his hand until he's bleeding. But the little boy holds on. And the kitten continues to scratch, attacking its very saviour until the little boy climbs out of the stream and safely puts the kitten back on dry land. Here's a thing. Sometimes we will go through seasons.

So we will bite, we will scratch, and we will vent at God. But He doesn't let go. He continues to hold us. The heart of the Christian faith is not our grasp on God, but it's God's sure grasp on us. Even when we vent and bite and scratch.

I love what Charles Haddon Spurgeon says. He says, if you cannot trace His hand, trust His heart. You will go through things in life that you will not understand. You'll have questions. You'll have doubts.

But when you persevere through those questions, trusting God, something profound happens. You might not get a Hollywood ending. Everything might not be resolved, but God will give you something far better. He will give you Himself. Look at how Asaph puts it.

These are some of the most beautiful verses in Scripture as we land. Look at these verses. Nevertheless, I am continually with you. You hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterwards you will receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For behold, those who are far from you shall perish. You put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you, but for me, it is good to be near God.

I have made the Lord my refuge that I may tell of all your works. Asaph's final journey out of doubt, it was not a change in his circumstances. I don't think the lives of those around him would have changed very much. It wasn't in them getting their comeuppance. It was in him realising that the living God is his God, is his refuge.

Asaph's final cure to doubt was the knowledge that through it all, God would hold him. And the question is, well, how did Asaph know? We're not told in this psalm. But the question is for you and me, well, how do we know that? How do we know that God will continue to hold us? How do you know that God will not let you go?

Because on the cross, Jesus cried out, my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Do you know what He was saying? Father, I can't feel your hand. I can't feel you holding me. See Jesus' life was completely different to ours.

He was the only one who deserved for God to hold Him. He was always faithful to His Father. He loved and trusted His Father. But on the cross, He cries out, my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Because on the cross, Jesus was getting what you and I deserve.

He was losing the Father's hand so that you and I could have it. He was being let go of so that God would not have to let go of us. And Asaph didn't know God in this way. He had no idea that God would do such a thing for sinners. But we do.

We live on this side of the cross. So how much more can we say along with Asaph? My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Now in that article I mentioned at the start with Archbishop Welby, he goes on to say, he says, it's not about feelings. It is about the fact that God is faithful.

And the extraordinary thing about being a Christian is that God is faithful when we are not. We can't explain all the questions in the world. We can't explain about suffering. We can't explain loads of things. But we know about Jesus.

We can talk about Jesus. When you go through doubt, you might not be able to have all the questions. You might not be able to talk about the answers that you've got, but you can talk about Jesus. And in Jesus, we see the depth of God's love and care. In Jesus, we see that God will not let us go.

And that reassures our doubting hearts. Let me pray for us. Heavenly Father, we thank you that you sent your Son Jesus into this world, that He lived the life we have not lived, and He died the death that we deserve to die, that He lost your hand on the cross so that we would never have to experience the agony, the hopelessness of losing your hand. But we can know adoption into your family, peace with you, and love for you and for each other. So Lord, I pray for my brothers and sisters in here this morning.

Maybe for some of us, there's some of us who are going through a difficult season right now, and it's causing us to ask some questions. Help us to not pull out from your church, your people, but to push in, to trust you, to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. And help us to be the sort of people that can minister to those who go through difficult times, to show them the love and the grace and the mercy that you have shown to us. We love you, Lord. We thank you for your word.

We thank you for Jesus. And we pray this in His mighty name, when all God's people said, amen.